Principles for a Happy Marriage | Marriage and Divorce

God not only instituted marriage: He gave us principles so that it may be a source of blessing and joy. Happy marriages do not happen by chance; they are built daily on solid biblical foundations.

The Foundation: Sacrificial Love

How should husbands love their wives?

With conditional love, if she deserves it With moderate love, without excess As Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her Only when in a good mood

The standard for the husband’s love is Christ: sacrificial, unconditional love that seeks the good of the other even at a cost to himself. This is not a love based on feelings, but on commitment.

What does it mean to 'love your wife as your own body'?

Care more for yourself than for her Nourish and care for her as you care for yourself Treat her as inferior Ignore her needs

“Neither the husband nor the wife should think of exercising arbitrary control over the other. Do not try to compel one another to yield to your wishes. You cannot do this and retain the love you have for each other.” — Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home, p. 118

The Role of Respect

What does the Bible specifically instruct wives regarding their husbands?

That they love their husbands intensely That they respect their husbands That they control their husbands That they be independent

While husbands are instructed to love, wives are instructed to respect. This does not mean that wives should not love or husbands should not respect. Both are important! But the Bible emphasizes the primary need of each.

Is the wife's submission slavery or inferiority?

Yes, woman is inferior to man No, it is a voluntary choice within the context of mutual submission Submission is only for ancient cultures The Bible does not speak of submission

Note that Ephesians 5:21 says: “Submitting to ONE ANOTHER in the fear of Christ.” Submission is mutual! The husband “submits” by sacrificing himself for his wife; the wife “submits” by respecting her husband’s leadership.

Communication and Conflict

How should we deal with anger in a relationship?

Never be angry Express all anger immediately Do not let the sun go down on your anger Save anger to use later

Conflicts are inevitable; what matters is how we resolve them. We should not let unresolved issues accumulate. Resolving before bed prevents bitterness from taking root.

What type of communication destroys relationships?

Honest words Unwholesome words (destructive, deprecating) Respectful silence Discussions about finances

“Gentle words, cheerful looks, expressions of love, are as essential to the happiness of the family as food and clothing are to the children.” — Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home, p. 434

Intimacy in Marriage

What does the Bible say about sexual intimacy in marriage?

It is shameful and should be avoided The marriage bed is undefiled It is permitted only for procreation It is a necessary evil

Sexual intimacy within marriage is pure and blessed by God. The Song of Songs celebrates romantic and physical love between husband and wife.

Should husband and wife deny intimacy to each other?

Yes, as a form of holiness They should not deprive each other, except by mutual agreement and temporarily Each person decides for themselves The Bible does not address this matter

Marriage and Faith

What is the danger of a believer marrying an unbeliever?

No danger, love conquers all Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers It is sin, but God forgives It is preferable to remaining single

Marriages between believers and unbelievers often result in conflicts over priorities, child-rearing, and lifestyle. God advises that we marry “only in the Lord” ().

What should be the spiritual basis of a Christian marriage?

Go to church together once a month The threefold cord (husband, wife, God) is not easily broken Each person have their own faith Avoid talking about religion

“If both husband and wife are truly Christian, there will be harmony in the home… They will pray together and seek God’s guidance together in all their decisions.” — Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home, p. 94

And Now?

Principles to apply today:

Husbands: Love sacrificially. Ask “what can I do for her today?”
Wives: Respect genuinely. Honor your husband with words and actions
Both: Communicate with kindness. Avoid destructive words
Both: Resolve conflicts quickly, do not let the sun go down on your anger
Both: Cultivate intimacy: physical, emotional, and spiritual
Both: Put God at the center. Pray together, study together

I desire to build my marriage (present or future) on biblical principles. I commit to loving/respecting my spouse, communicating kindly, cultivating intimacy, and keeping God at the center of our relationship.

2) Principles for a Happy Marriage