3) Marriage and Faith
Unequal yoke, marriage between believers, and building a Christian family
Faith is not just one aspect of marriage: it must be the foundation upon which the entire relationship is built. In this lesson, we will examine the importance of spiritual compatibility and how to build a truly Christian family.
The Principle of Equal Yoke
The image is of two animals of different sizes or strengths trying to pull the same plow; it does not work. Similarly, a believer and an unbeliever have fundamentally different values, priorities, and destinies.
Solomon, the wisest man in the world, was led astray by marriage to women who did not share his faith. If it happened to him, it can happen to anyone.
“He who enters the married state finds himself in school where his affections will be tested. Divine wisdom counsels us to marry ‘only in the Lord’.” — Ellen G. White, Messages to Young People, p. 436
Why Sharing Faith Matters
Marriage is a lifelong journey. Spouses need to agree on the most important matters: How will we raise our children? What will we do with our money? How will we spend the Sabbath? Where will we go when we die?
What If I Am Already Married to an Unbeliever?
If you converted after marriage, you should not abandon your unbelieving spouse. On the contrary, your Christian life may be the means of his/her salvation.
“If you have an unbelieving husband or wife, do not be discouraged; your serenity, patience, gentleness may be the means of his or her conversion.” — Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home, p. 349
Building a Christian Home
The commitment to serve the Lord should be a family decision, led by parents and embraced by all family members.
Religious education is not a weekly event, but a lifestyle. The truths of God should be taught “sitting in your home, walking along the way, lying down and rising up.”
“Fathers and mothers, make the family worship hour meaningful, morning and evening. Gather your children around you and offer praise to God… Precious will be the influence exercised.” — Ellen G. White, Sons and Daughters of God, p. 65
And Now?
Practical applications for building a Christian family:
- Singles: Commit to marry “only in the Lord”; do not yield to pressure or loneliness.
- Married to believers: Cultivate faith together through family worship, prayer, and study.
- Married to unbelievers: Live the gospel with love and patience, without forcing conversions.
- Parents: Make spiritual education a daily priority, not just weekly.
- Everyone: Declare with Joshua: “As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
I commit to placing God at the center of my family. If single, I decide to marry only someone who shares my faith. If married, I will dedicate time to worshiping God as a family and passing faith to future generations.