4) Divorce in the Bible
What Jesus taught about divorce - The permitted exception and God's ideal
Divorce is one of the most painful realities of life. Families are torn apart, hearts are broken, and children suffer the consequences. What does the Bible teach about this? Does God allow divorce? Under what circumstances? This lesson carefully examines the teachings of Jesus and Scripture.
God’s Ideal: Permanence
What was God's original intention for marriage?
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Answer: What God has joined together, let no man separate
Matthew 19:6: "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."
God’s plan was always lifelong marriage. Permanence is not an option: it is the ideal toward which every marriage should aim.
What does God declare about divorce?
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Answer: God hates divorce
Malachi 2:16: "For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously."
God hates divorce, not because He is legalistic, but because He loves people and knows that divorce causes profound pain and destruction.
“Marriage is a step taken for life.” — Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home, AH 340.2.
Why Did Moses Allow Divorce?
Why did Moses permit divorce in Israel?
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Answer: Because of the hardness of human hearts
Matthew 19:8: "He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so."
Moses’s permission was not divine approval, but a concession to the reality of sin. Jesus makes it clear: “From the beginning it was not so.” Divorce was never God’s plan.
What was the purpose of the bill of divorce in Deuteronomy 24?
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Answer: To protect the divorced woman, allowing her to remarry
Deuteronomy 24:1-2: "When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife."
In ancient culture, a divorced woman without a document was in terrible situation; she could not remarry or return to her first husband. The document protected her.
Jesus’s Exception
According to Jesus, what is the only legitimate cause for divorce?
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Answer: Porneia (sexual immorality/infidelity)
Matthew 19:9: "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."
Jesus is clear: “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” The only exception Jesus permits is sexual unfaithfulness.
In Matthew 19:9, Jesus uses the term “porneia,” a broad word related to sexual immorality. In the context of marriage, it points to serious sexual unfaithfulness as a violation of the marriage covenant.
“Nothing but the violation of the marriage bed can either break or annul the marriage vow.” — Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home, AH 341.3.
Jesus’s Standard Is Higher
How did Jesus raise the standard regarding adultery?
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Answer: Looking at a woman with lustful intent is already adultery in the heart
Matthew 5:28: "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."
Jesus did not come to facilitate divorce, but to raise the standard of fidelity. It is not enough to avoid the physical act; we must guard our thoughts and eyes.
Who commits adultery by marrying again after illegitimate divorce?
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Answer: Whoever divorces without biblical grounds and marries again
Matthew 19:9: "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."
Divorce Is Not Mandatory
If the spouse is unfaithful, is divorce mandatory?
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Answer: No, forgiveness and reconciliation are possible
Hosea 3:1: "Then said the LORD unto me, Go yet, love a woman beloved of her friend, yet an adulteress, according to the love of the LORD toward the children of Israel, who look to other gods, and love flagons of wine."
The example of Hosea and Gomer shows that even infidelity can be forgiven and the marriage restored. Divorce is permitted in case of adultery, but not mandatory. Forgiveness is always Christian; reconciliation, however, requires real repentance, safety, and honest rebuilding of trust. In situations of violence, abuse, or risk, the person should seek immediate protection and mature pastoral guidance.
“Come to an understanding, and reunite as husband and wife.” — Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home, AH 343.1.
And Now?
Principles about divorce:
- The ideal is permanence: Dedicate yourself actively to preserving your marriage.
- Divorce is a concession, not God’s desire: He hates divorce, but allows it in extreme cases.
- Jesus highlights sexual infidelity as the explicit exception to the ideal of permanence: It is the only exception He states directly.
- 1 Corinthians 7 raises the case of abandonment by an unbelieving spouse: It is a matter that requires caution and pastoral discernment.
- Forgiveness is always Christian: Reconciliation requires repentance, safety, and rebuilding of trust.
- Seek help: Pastors, counselors, and Christian therapists can help.
My Decision
I accept the biblical teaching that marriage should be permanent and that divorce is not part of God’s original plan. If I face marital difficulties, I will seek forgiveness, wisdom, and mature professional and pastoral help; in a situation of risk, I will seek protection before any attempt at reconciliation.